Tonight was forced to go to the movie, "17 Miracles". Every single miracle in the movie is a true story, and comes from the Martin/Willie Handcart Companies of the Mormon Pioneers crossing the plains.
As I said, I was forced. I didn't want to go. I'd heard, from others, that you will just cry and cry and cry some more. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to be shown incredible stories of faith.
I was stubborn, and hardhearted. Boy was I seriously humbled. I needed to reminded of the stories of the pioneers. I needed to be shown incredible stories of faith. I am leaving on a mission in less than 48 hours, and faith is the major component of missionary work. I cried because of my hardheartedness. I cried because I wasn't sure I was able to have that much faith. I cried for the hardships, the trials, the sickness & death, and the pain they felt.
One of the men said, "As I pushed my handcart alone, countless times I turned around to see who was helping me push my cart, and there was no one there." I have felt the Angels of the Lord helping me, and pushing me along through times of trial. The countless times I have felt the warmth and comfort of a hug, from an unknown source.
Do not forget the times of you have been comforted. The times the Spirit has spoken truth to you. For they will always come back to you, during times of other trials. You can work through them. You can overcome every single trial. Keep to the faith, and you will be blessed. Everything happens for a reason, and we are to always learn from each and every experience. For which, we are incredibly blessed.
Monday, August 8, 2011
< 2 days
With less than two days to go... I can't say that I'm really nervous to be heading out on my mission. I'm more excited than ever, and ready to get out of here and start this wonderful journey.
I think I'm just sad that I didn't get to spend much time with friends. Then again, all my friends from high school are all different and we don't have much in common anymore. I suppose you can say we aren't really friends anymore. Boy, I sure miss the good ol' days.
"Once there was a way, to get back homeward,
Once there was a way, to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry, and I will sing a lullaby,
Golden slumbers fill your eyes, smiles awake you when you rise."
-Golden Slumbers
I have decided that other than Yesterday by the Beatles, my next favorite song is In My Life. The words are so poetic, and just lovely. They speak volumes. I love it.
I think I'm just sad that I didn't get to spend much time with friends. Then again, all my friends from high school are all different and we don't have much in common anymore. I suppose you can say we aren't really friends anymore. Boy, I sure miss the good ol' days.
"Once there was a way, to get back homeward,
Once there was a way, to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry, and I will sing a lullaby,
Golden slumbers fill your eyes, smiles awake you when you rise."
-Golden Slumbers
I have decided that other than Yesterday by the Beatles, my next favorite song is In My Life. The words are so poetic, and just lovely. They speak volumes. I love it.
There are places I remember, all my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better, some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments, with lovers and friends, I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living, in my life, I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers, there is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning, when I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them, in my life I love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them, in my life I love you more, in my life I love you more
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Closer and Closer
TOMORROW happens to be Sunday. Then it is Monday. Then it is Tuesday. Then it is WEDNESDAY!! And I'm off on the best and most exciting adventure of my life. I know a mission is going to be the hardest thing I'll ever do, but I don't care. I am so excited to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ ()!! I only have three more days. THREE! Man, and I thought this summer went by really fast? Well, I thought it was slow, but as I look back, it was extremely fast. It's weird how time flies by like that. Sheesh. Yay!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Time to Relax
Well, today has come and gone. I don't know what happened, or where the time went, but it's gone. It's July 31st, and I am so at ease with everything that has happened.
Last Sunday I was complaining to mom that I had no idea how I was going to write my talk. I didn't know where to start, what to say, and how it should end. I went to bed mulling over in my head what we'd talked about and a few of the options I could talk about. I sat down on my bed with all the materials I wanted to use, my computer, and just started typing. The most amazing thing happened. I just kept typing and typing. I didn't know what time it was, I never looked at the clock. Finally, I finished it, and it was about 3:30 in the morning.
I got up the next morning to tell my parents that I'd finished my talk. They said, "but you were complaining all night, that you didn't know what to say." My mom said now I just have this last week to think about my talk and change things that I thought needed to be changed, since it was a "rough draft". As I thought about it all week, I didn't change much. It just felt right. I changed a few things, some of the wording wasn't quite right. Other than that, it stayed pretty much the same.
As I gave my talk today, everything just felt right. Obviously this wasn't the work of my hand, it was from the Lord. The little blessings the Lord has given me, His tender mercies always come in little ways, and I'm so grateful for them. I absolutely loath writing talks, and I knew if I asked for help, and had faith, the Lord would show His mercy to me, and I would be able to accomplish the direction He wanted me to take. I am so blessed.
Last Sunday I was complaining to mom that I had no idea how I was going to write my talk. I didn't know where to start, what to say, and how it should end. I went to bed mulling over in my head what we'd talked about and a few of the options I could talk about. I sat down on my bed with all the materials I wanted to use, my computer, and just started typing. The most amazing thing happened. I just kept typing and typing. I didn't know what time it was, I never looked at the clock. Finally, I finished it, and it was about 3:30 in the morning.
I got up the next morning to tell my parents that I'd finished my talk. They said, "but you were complaining all night, that you didn't know what to say." My mom said now I just have this last week to think about my talk and change things that I thought needed to be changed, since it was a "rough draft". As I thought about it all week, I didn't change much. It just felt right. I changed a few things, some of the wording wasn't quite right. Other than that, it stayed pretty much the same.
As I gave my talk today, everything just felt right. Obviously this wasn't the work of my hand, it was from the Lord. The little blessings the Lord has given me, His tender mercies always come in little ways, and I'm so grateful for them. I absolutely loath writing talks, and I knew if I asked for help, and had faith, the Lord would show His mercy to me, and I would be able to accomplish the direction He wanted me to take. I am so blessed.
Friday, July 29, 2011
I Love to See the Temple
Today I was privileged to witness a temple marriage. My cousin and his fiancee (now wife) were married in the Jordan River temple. It was awesome and exciting, and just how I want my wedding. In the temple.
Drum roll please.....
I have done 9 sessions in 8 temples! YAY!
Each temple is gorgeous and lovely, and a house of the Lord. I am so thankful I have been taught to live my life worthily so I am able to enter therein. I'm grateful for the blessings that come from serving in the house of the Lord, and I know I am helping someone on the other side. It's a great feeling. :)
Drum roll please.....
I have done 9 sessions in 8 temples! YAY!
Logan
Bountiful
Salt Lake (twice)
Oquirrh Mountain
Draper
Jordan River
Manti
St. George
Each temple is gorgeous and lovely, and a house of the Lord. I am so thankful I have been taught to live my life worthily so I am able to enter therein. I'm grateful for the blessings that come from serving in the house of the Lord, and I know I am helping someone on the other side. It's a great feeling. :)
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I said it Once, but I'll Say it Again
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MISSIONARY WORK!!!
I don't know how many times I can say it, but I'll say it again. I love it. I seriously cannot wait. 21 days and counting, and I will be starting the biggest journey of my life. My addiction to food with seem like nothing in comparison to serving a mission.
I received a letter from the MTC (Missionary Training Center) yesterday, giving me a last minute reminder of the things I need to get accomplished before I go. It gave me a website to go to all about "Preach, My Gospel" and three videos I should watch about teaching the gospel. The testimonies of the people they were teaching in the videos were so real, and so inviting. Words cannot describe the emotions and the spirit I felt. I am so excited to feel that way for the next 18 months.
This is my journey, and nothing will I fear! The Lord, my God, will pilot me, and keep my pathway sure, my help and my guardian, to the journey's end. The Lord is my light, my beacon and guide, my strength and my song. And I will be strong!
I don't know how many times I can say it, but I'll say it again. I love it. I seriously cannot wait. 21 days and counting, and I will be starting the biggest journey of my life. My addiction to food with seem like nothing in comparison to serving a mission.
I received a letter from the MTC (Missionary Training Center) yesterday, giving me a last minute reminder of the things I need to get accomplished before I go. It gave me a website to go to all about "Preach, My Gospel" and three videos I should watch about teaching the gospel. The testimonies of the people they were teaching in the videos were so real, and so inviting. Words cannot describe the emotions and the spirit I felt. I am so excited to feel that way for the next 18 months.
This is my journey, and nothing will I fear! The Lord, my God, will pilot me, and keep my pathway sure, my help and my guardian, to the journey's end. The Lord is my light, my beacon and guide, my strength and my song. And I will be strong!
It's a battle we're fighting. I am ready to pick up my sword and fight for my King.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
The End
It's the end of an Era, the Harry Potter Era that is. There is nothing more coming after this morning at midnight. Harry's story has finished, and the world will continue to read/watch his story.
That is to say.... HARRY POTTER 7 part 2 WAS BRILLIANT!!!! Oh I don't think I can describe the emotions I felt after the credits started rolling this morning. I felt a sense of loss. For heaven's sake, I, and everyone in my generation, grew up with the books and movies. The actors who portrayed the characters in the books, yes, they might have spent half their lives making this movies(Dan, Emma, and Rupert). But we feel as if we know them a lot better. I have no idea if that makes any sense, but it does in my head. haha
With that said, I cried. When you all get to Snape's story... You'll cry too. It makes you love him all that much more, or.. If you never liked him in the beginning, feel sympathy for the great man that he is.
That is to say.... HARRY POTTER 7 part 2 WAS BRILLIANT!!!! Oh I don't think I can describe the emotions I felt after the credits started rolling this morning. I felt a sense of loss. For heaven's sake, I, and everyone in my generation, grew up with the books and movies. The actors who portrayed the characters in the books, yes, they might have spent half their lives making this movies(Dan, Emma, and Rupert). But we feel as if we know them a lot better. I have no idea if that makes any sense, but it does in my head. haha
With that said, I cried. When you all get to Snape's story... You'll cry too. It makes you love him all that much more, or.. If you never liked him in the beginning, feel sympathy for the great man that he is.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
M.a.n.t.i. T.e.m.p.l.e.
Today my mom and I went to the Manti Temple.
OH HOW I LOVE THAT TEMPLE!!!! Well, I love every single temple, but this time, oh it is simply gorgeous. I have more respect for every Pioneer who put their blood, sweat, and tears into building the Logan, Salt Lake, Manti, and St. George temples. The structures, the architecture, everything about them.
Temples are a wonderful, and the Spirit of the Lord is always there. Go to the temple, and go often. I learn so much, about myself and this gospel. Doing service for those who have died is a special feeling. Go.
OH HOW I LOVE THAT TEMPLE!!!! Well, I love every single temple, but this time, oh it is simply gorgeous. I have more respect for every Pioneer who put their blood, sweat, and tears into building the Logan, Salt Lake, Manti, and St. George temples. The structures, the architecture, everything about them.
Temples are a wonderful, and the Spirit of the Lord is always there. Go to the temple, and go often. I learn so much, about myself and this gospel. Doing service for those who have died is a special feeling. Go.
Monday, July 11, 2011
In Love
"All I know is that I'm scandalously in love with you." -- Anne Shirley
SO! I have been watching Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Avonlea, and Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story.
AND I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF ANNE AND GILBERT!!! They have the perfect love story. I hope I can find my own Gilbert Blythe. Every girls needs/deserves one.
He's perfect. :)
SO! I have been watching Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Avonlea, and Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story.
AND I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF ANNE AND GILBERT!!! They have the perfect love story. I hope I can find my own Gilbert Blythe. Every girls needs/deserves one.
He's perfect. :)
Friday, July 8, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Land of the Free, and the Home of the Brave!
Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream:
Tis the star-spangled banner: O, long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
Flag draped from the roof of the Pentagon
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
O, thus be it ever when freemen shall stand,
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust"
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream:
Tis the star-spangled banner: O, long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
Flag draped from the roof of the Pentagon
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
O, thus be it ever when freemen shall stand,
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust"
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
21 Isn't So Different
Yeah... It's my birthday. Happy birthday to me!
You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too, yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.
Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
I would like you to dance (Birthday)
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (Birthday)
I would like you to dance (Birthday)
Dance
I would like you to dance (Birthday)
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (Birthday)
I would like you to dance (Birthday)
Dance
You say it's your birthday
Well it's my birthday too, yeah
You say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.
You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too, yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.
Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
I would like you to dance (Birthday)
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (Birthday)
I would like you to dance (Birthday)
Dance
I would like you to dance (Birthday)
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (Birthday)
I would like you to dance (Birthday)
Dance
You say it's your birthday
Well it's my birthday too, yeah
You say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Movies To Watch
So there are a list of movies I need to watch before I leave on my mission.
The Lord of the Rings (all three)
Indiana Jones (all four)
Anne of Green Gables
Anne of Avonlea
Star Wars (4, 5, and 6 only)
Back to the Future (all three)
Help!
A Hard Day's Night
The Lord of the Rings (all three)
Indiana Jones (all four)
Anne of Green Gables
Anne of Avonlea
Star Wars (4, 5, and 6 only)
Back to the Future (all three)
Help!
A Hard Day's Night
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Today Is....!?
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!!
I have the greatest dad. Just saying...
Well, it's true! Right now, he is laying on the floor taking a nap. He's snoring.
Oh well... Just look how stinkin' cute he is. :) Love you Daddy, Happy Father's Day!
I have the greatest dad. Just saying...
Well, it's true! Right now, he is laying on the floor taking a nap. He's snoring.
Oh well... Just look how stinkin' cute he is. :) Love you Daddy, Happy Father's Day!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Birthday Boy
YOU SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!
It's my birthday too, yeah!
You say it's your birthday,
we're gonna have a good time.
I'm glad it's your birthday,
happy birthday to you!!
Happy Birthday Sir Paul!! 69 and still going strong!
It's my birthday too, yeah!
You say it's your birthday,
we're gonna have a good time.
I'm glad it's your birthday,
happy birthday to you!!
Happy Birthday Sir Paul!! 69 and still going strong!
Monday, June 13, 2011
"It Was 46 Years Ago Today..."
Well, actually tomorrow, but while I'm thinking about it, I'm going to write about it.
My most unbelievably favorite song, "Yesterday" by The Beatles was recorded 46 years ago today. (tomorrow). June 14, 1965. Oh how I love, Love, LOVE this song.
Greatest song ever written. It has been said that this song has been covered over 3,000 times by that many artists. A record that will never be broken. THAT, my friends, is good music.
My most unbelievably favorite song, "Yesterday" by The Beatles was recorded 46 years ago today. (tomorrow). June 14, 1965. Oh how I love, Love, LOVE this song.
Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly,
I'm not half the man I use to be.
There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
Why she
Had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say
I said, something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday,
Love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Why she
Had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say
I said, something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday,
Love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Mm mmm mmmmm mm mm m m
Greatest song ever written. It has been said that this song has been covered over 3,000 times by that many artists. A record that will never be broken. THAT, my friends, is good music.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Simply Amazing
Last night I went through the temple. What an amazing experience that was. I encourage all to go. If you can't, get to where you can, and continue to live life in a manner that would allow you to go always.
It was so special to be there with my sisters, their husbands, my parents (on their 33rd wedding anniversary), my grandparents, and my incredibly good friends. Standing in the temple with my family, made eternity seem more like a reality. I am, in fact, going to be with my family forever. Eternity. What an amazing blessing.
Temples, go. You must.
It was so special to be there with my sisters, their husbands, my parents (on their 33rd wedding anniversary), my grandparents, and my incredibly good friends. Standing in the temple with my family, made eternity seem more like a reality. I am, in fact, going to be with my family forever. Eternity. What an amazing blessing.
Temples, go. You must.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Never Seen You Before
Dear Random Children in the Backyard...
You are like, what 12? Why on Earth do you have a cellphone? Who are you going to call, Barney?
Sincerely, Me
p.s. I have never seen you before, so why do you think it is okay to be playing in someone else's backyard? Is it as weird for you as it is for me?
You are like, what 12? Why on Earth do you have a cellphone? Who are you going to call, Barney?
Sincerely, Me
p.s. I have never seen you before, so why do you think it is okay to be playing in someone else's backyard? Is it as weird for you as it is for me?
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Memories On A Shelf
I am completely addicted to music. I love singing, and I love the way music can affect someone. Okay, for the most part because yes, music can either make or break you. I've been listening to a couple of songs the past few days... The same ones, over and over again. And they all seem to be saying the same thing.
First song: The Story of Us by: Taylor Swift
Just a couple of the lyrics always stick out to me.
Second Song: Need You Now by: Lady Antebellum
Third Song: Stayin' Worse Than Leaving by: Sunny Sweeney
Fourth Song: Get It Right by: Rachel Berry (Glee)
Sometimes it is so hard to control your thoughts. Mine always wander back to those who are most important to me. I wonder if they care about me as much as I care about them. And most of the time, it's no. And it really is "this freedom feels a lot like treason." Sometimes it just isn't fair to be so passionate about something and it's always one-sided.
Ever feel like you give 150% in a relationship (any kind of relationship) and only get 10% back? Yeah, it makes you want to stop trying.
First song: The Story of Us by: Taylor Swift
Just a couple of the lyrics always stick out to me.
"Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know, is it killing you
Like it's killing me
I don't know what to say since a twist of fate
When it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now."
"This is looking like a contest
Of who can act like they care less
But I liked it better when you were on my side."
Second Song: Need You Now by: Lady Antebellum
"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time."
Third Song: Stayin' Worse Than Leaving by: Sunny Sweeney
"God knows we tried everything that we could do
You can keep your pride and blame me if you need to
Even though this freedom feels a lot like treason,
I know staying's worse than leaving."
Fourth Song: Get It Right by: Rachel Berry (Glee)
"So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah I sent out wish
Yeah I sent up a prayer
Then finally someone will see how much I care."
Sometimes it is so hard to control your thoughts. Mine always wander back to those who are most important to me. I wonder if they care about me as much as I care about them. And most of the time, it's no. And it really is "this freedom feels a lot like treason." Sometimes it just isn't fair to be so passionate about something and it's always one-sided.
Ever feel like you give 150% in a relationship (any kind of relationship) and only get 10% back? Yeah, it makes you want to stop trying.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Temples!
Yesterday was my first temple prep class. Oh how I am so excited to go! I was suppose to have this class finished with my Bishop in Cedar City, but that Bishop isn't quite as organized as my Bishop here in Kaysville.
SOOOO! I have decided that June 7th, 2011 is the date I am going through the temple. Why this particular date? It is the 33rd wedding anniversary of my parents. Isn't that cool? Their youngest daughter (ME!!) going through the temple 33 years later. I am so incredibly excited.
THE CHURCH IS SOOOOOO TRUE!!!
SOOOO! I have decided that June 7th, 2011 is the date I am going through the temple. Why this particular date? It is the 33rd wedding anniversary of my parents. Isn't that cool? Their youngest daughter (ME!!) going through the temple 33 years later. I am so incredibly excited.
THE CHURCH IS SOOOOOO TRUE!!!
Sincerely, Rolled Up on a Pallet
Not much has happened around here since the last week of school. It's kind of weird that it has already been two weeks. I'm back at Surf 'n' Swim, and last week was Bubble week. Which means moving 24,000 lbs of PVC covering. It's quite heavy... Then the rest of week was spent outside being drenched by the rain, sweeping up dirt (which is now mud), lifting tables; benches, bleachers, and just about anything else my boss can think up, followed by more and more sweeping. Needless to say, it was an incredibly long week.
Oh, and we were filling up the pool at the same time, so a friend/co-worker and I jumped into the half-filled pool... It was 45 degrees. And we jumped into the other pool... That was 40 degrees. BURR!!!
Oh, and we were filling up the pool at the same time, so a friend/co-worker and I jumped into the half-filled pool... It was 45 degrees. And we jumped into the other pool... That was 40 degrees. BURR!!!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Missionary Work is AWESOME!
Today I went to two homecomings for, obviously, two of my very good friends.
OH HOW I LOVE MISSIONARY WORK! It completely changes the missionary and they become so much of a better person because of it. It not only changes the lives of those they teach, but it changes their lives as well.
I AM SO EXCITED!!! I cannot wait to grow and progress forward in the next 18 months. I am excited to meet people from all over who are coming to the Visitor's Center to learn more about the Gospel. I am so excited to love so many people, of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, and ways of life.
If you are in the process of deciding on whether or not to go.... DON'T HESITATE!!! GO!!! You will be immensely blessed, and many great and wonderful (and righteous) things will open up to you. Being a missionary will be a great blessing for the rest of my life. :)
OH HOW I LOVE MISSIONARY WORK! It completely changes the missionary and they become so much of a better person because of it. It not only changes the lives of those they teach, but it changes their lives as well.
I AM SO EXCITED!!! I cannot wait to grow and progress forward in the next 18 months. I am excited to meet people from all over who are coming to the Visitor's Center to learn more about the Gospel. I am so excited to love so many people, of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, and ways of life.
If you are in the process of deciding on whether or not to go.... DON'T HESITATE!!! GO!!! You will be immensely blessed, and many great and wonderful (and righteous) things will open up to you. Being a missionary will be a great blessing for the rest of my life. :)
Monday, May 9, 2011
Contention is of the Devil
So yesterday, I was at my friend's homecoming. He served his mission in Korea. He was talking about a certain scripture talking about how Contention is of the devil.
Andrew said that in Korean contention actually means fighting. He said what he liked about English was the interpretation of the word Contention. As Andrew pointed out, Contention has content in it. Being content is of the devil. The Lord has asked us to continue to press forward and keep growing and learning. If we are content with where we are in the gospel, then we are of the devil.
We need to always move forward and focus on eternity. Thanks Andrew, thanks for reminding us to not be content, but to move forward and become like our Heavenly Father
Andrew said that in Korean contention actually means fighting. He said what he liked about English was the interpretation of the word Contention. As Andrew pointed out, Contention has content in it. Being content is of the devil. The Lord has asked us to continue to press forward and keep growing and learning. If we are content with where we are in the gospel, then we are of the devil.
We need to always move forward and focus on eternity. Thanks Andrew, thanks for reminding us to not be content, but to move forward and become like our Heavenly Father
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Mission Cake
My home teacher and friend told me he'd make me a cake when I got my mission call. I told him he had to frost it with the flag of the country of where I would be going. I ended up getting called stateside, so I got the great flag of the United States. :)
Yes... I know it has 15 stripes, he can't count, but it tasted great just the same. :)
And Here We Go Again...
Well, tomorrow is the beginning of my summer vacation. I am still trying to figure out how that came so quickly. I swear just yesterday I was started Spring semester, my new job, and wondering if a mission was in my future (I've always wanted to serve, just didn't know if that's what the Lord wanted me to do.)
But tomorrow I start back at good ol' Layton Surf 'n' Swim (bright (okay, not so bright) and early 5 am). I have sold my soul there. Luckily I get to reclaim my soul at the end of this summer. I think. If I get home from my mission too late and I can't start school, Surf is right back where I'm going. My boss likes me enough to hire me back. ... Lucky me. After five years, lifeguard gets really old, really fast. Dealing with stupid people takes its toll. As mom likes to remind me, "Do you want to be a lifeguard for the rest of your life?" Me: "No!!" Mom: "Then finish your education so you don't have to." Touche mom. Touche.
But, lifeguarding is always there. And they always need lifeguards. Being certified really helps and I can always have a job. Fairly easy, if you don't count dealing with stupid people, and I always get a break (at least once an hour) and I get paid for it too. Talk about a good job.
But tomorrow I start back at good ol' Layton Surf 'n' Swim (bright (okay, not so bright) and early 5 am). I have sold my soul there. Luckily I get to reclaim my soul at the end of this summer. I think. If I get home from my mission too late and I can't start school, Surf is right back where I'm going. My boss likes me enough to hire me back. ... Lucky me. After five years, lifeguard gets really old, really fast. Dealing with stupid people takes its toll. As mom likes to remind me, "Do you want to be a lifeguard for the rest of your life?" Me: "No!!" Mom: "Then finish your education so you don't have to." Touche mom. Touche.
But, lifeguarding is always there. And they always need lifeguards. Being certified really helps and I can always have a job. Fairly easy, if you don't count dealing with stupid people, and I always get a break (at least once an hour) and I get paid for it too. Talk about a good job.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
That's It Folks!
Well, I finished my last final today at 9:30. I am done with school for the next 18 months of my life. Wow. That is kind of crazy to even think about. Thursday just came here really quickly, and now what am I going to do? Oh right, enjoy my summer, continue preparing for my MISSION, and go!!! W00t!
Today, a friend and I went on an adventure. His name is Brandon. We drove up the canyon, all over the place. We counted seven rock-chucks (two dead, five alive), a dead porcupine, and a turkey! Brandon stopped the car and went and chased after the turkey. It was hilarious because it started flying and he didn't know they could fly. I laughed really hard. Then we went back to the porcupine because he wanted some.. bristles?.. It was funny. We had a good time, and it was weird to see all the snow that is still up in the mountains. It is incredible beautiful up there. I think that is the main thing I am going to miss about being on my mission... My mountains. My Rocky Mountains. Missouri doesn't have those mountains, it doesn't have any mountains. It's going to be weird!!!
Today, a friend and I went on an adventure. His name is Brandon. We drove up the canyon, all over the place. We counted seven rock-chucks (two dead, five alive), a dead porcupine, and a turkey! Brandon stopped the car and went and chased after the turkey. It was hilarious because it started flying and he didn't know they could fly. I laughed really hard. Then we went back to the porcupine because he wanted some.. bristles?.. It was funny. We had a good time, and it was weird to see all the snow that is still up in the mountains. It is incredible beautiful up there. I think that is the main thing I am going to miss about being on my mission... My mountains. My Rocky Mountains. Missouri doesn't have those mountains, it doesn't have any mountains. It's going to be weird!!!
Monday, May 2, 2011
1 of 5
First final down... Four more to go. Yay? I still haven't decided whether finals are a good thing or a bad thing. I mean seriously. I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people like me who don't test well. And when I get to a test, everything I've ever learned flies out of the window. And I'm left with a bunch of empty brains. It's quite lame.
On a random side note... Do you know how weird it is to take up to the radio telling you that Osama bin Laden has been killed? They have been searching for him half of my life, if not more, and just randomly, one night. He's dead. No trial. No having him sit in jail for the rest of his life. Dead. D.E.A.D. It's weird if you ask me.
On a random side note... Do you know how weird it is to take up to the radio telling you that Osama bin Laden has been killed? They have been searching for him half of my life, if not more, and just randomly, one night. He's dead. No trial. No having him sit in jail for the rest of his life. Dead. D.E.A.D. It's weird if you ask me.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
I've Been Called To...
Well, as my Twitter says... I have been called to serve in the Independence Missouri Mission, as well as the Independence Visitor's Center. I leave August 10th! I am VERY excited!!!
I cannot wait to go and serve the Lord and His children in Missouri. I am very happy and very honored that the Lord has called me there. I can't wait!
I cannot wait to go and serve the Lord and His children in Missouri. I am very happy and very honored that the Lord has called me there. I can't wait!
Friday, April 22, 2011
On It's Way
My call finally will be here. April 27, 2011. The call will be in my mailbox. AND I COULDN'T BE MORE EXCITED!!!!! I am seriously dancing around jumping for joy. :D
The Bishop called me today and said it would be here next week. My call has been issued. Life couldn't get much better.
The Bishop called me today and said it would be here next week. My call has been issued. Life couldn't get much better.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Just a Few of Life's Many Lessons
So... The story goes like this. I am not getting my call this week. Sad, I know. Obviously the Lord wants me to prepare more. And here I thought it would be here in a week. Oh does the Lord have a great sense of humor. :) haha Oh man, I really need to remember this is the Lord's time, and not my time.
Today in Sunday school, the teacher said this quote,
This week I have been seeing glimpses of how happy I really am. Sure I have ups and downs, but truly, I can't deny it. I am happy! I am happy with who I am. Another one of my most favorite quotes come from the book "You Are Special" by Max Lucado. It says,
Today in Sunday school, the teacher said this quote,
God's plan is not the plan of pleasure. It's the Plan of Happiness. --Elder Neal A. MaxwellIsn't that so true! People all over the world think they are happy, but really they aren't. True happiness comes from living the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As I think back in my life, thinking I am so miserable, I am just lying to myself. I'm not unhappy. I'm not miserable. I'm happy. I know I am. Why? Because I have been given the greatest blessing known to man. The Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I am a part of it. I love life because of that!
This week I have been seeing glimpses of how happy I really am. Sure I have ups and downs, but truly, I can't deny it. I am happy! I am happy with who I am. Another one of my most favorite quotes come from the book "You Are Special" by Max Lucado. It says,
You are special, because I made you. And I don't make mistakes.The Lord doesn't make mistakes. I was made this way for a reason. Sure, it's hard. And sure, sometimes I wish I wasn't this way. But I can't deny that the Lord has a very special plan for me, and this is all part of the process of life, and what a great blessing it is that I get to learn this lesson.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Weekend Bust
Okay, so I'm not actually going to Ephraim. I was suppose to, but my dumb boss scheduled me "because I was in town" to work for a private party. How does she know whether I was going to be in town or not?! She doesn't. And she's dumb. ANYWAY, it was suppose to be a fun weekend with two of my best friends, but no. I get to earn 16 dollars. AND deal with stupid parents who refuse to listen to me. *tsk tsk*
And I'm patiently waiting for the Bishop to call Mom and tell her my call has been issued. If I have to wait another week, I just might cry. Mom said she'd ask the Bishop tomorrow at church if he doesn't call today. Sheesh, I lllloooovvveeee waiting. *shifty eyes* Okay, I won't cry. I'll learn even more patience. Isn't that great? Yeah, I thought so too.
And I'm patiently waiting for the Bishop to call Mom and tell her my call has been issued. If I have to wait another week, I just might cry. Mom said she'd ask the Bishop tomorrow at church if he doesn't call today. Sheesh, I lllloooovvveeee waiting. *shifty eyes* Okay, I won't cry. I'll learn even more patience. Isn't that great? Yeah, I thought so too.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
EEK!
Okay, so today's the day. I'm hoping. Today is Thursday. I am hoping and praying with all my might that I will be issued a call today. Pray with me!!
Also, I have decided I am going to fast once a week until I leave on my mission, to help me with this problem I'm facing. The strongest thing is the Lord, and I know with the extra "umph" I will succeed. Here's to putting all my faith and trust in the Lord. :) I will come out on top.
Also, I have decided I am going to fast once a week until I leave on my mission, to help me with this problem I'm facing. The strongest thing is the Lord, and I know with the extra "umph" I will succeed. Here's to putting all my faith and trust in the Lord. :) I will come out on top.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
But If Not
(Sorry for two posts in a row, I just wanted to share this, because it was great and made me cry.)
Today in Institute it was great! We were talking about Daniel chapter 3, and how Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego told King Nebuchadnezzar that they will believe on their God through all the "but if not's".
This quote is by Elder Dennis E. Simmons, in the May Ensign 2004
As I sat in my Institute class, I was sobbing. Everything I've been going through, everything I have been dealing with; it just brought me comfort and strength to keep going. I am going to do everything humanly possible to make sure I beat this and have the faith and courage. I will "be delivered and receive all that He has."
Today in Institute it was great! We were talking about Daniel chapter 3, and how Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego told King Nebuchadnezzar that they will believe on their God through all the "but if not's".
This quote is by Elder Dennis E. Simmons, in the May Ensign 2004
We must have the same faith as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Our God will deliver us from ridicule and persecution, but if not... Our God will deliver us from sickness and disease, but if not... He will deliver us from loneliness, depression, or fear, but if not... Our God will deliver us from threats, accusations and insecurity, but if not... He will deliver us from death or impairment of loved ones, but if not... We will trust in the Lord.
Our God will see that we receive justice and fairness, but if not... He will make sure that we are loved and recognized, but if not... We will receive a perfect companion and righteous and obedient children, but if not... We will have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing that if we do all we can do, we will in His time and in His way, be delivered and receive all that He has
As I sat in my Institute class, I was sobbing. Everything I've been going through, everything I have been dealing with; it just brought me comfort and strength to keep going. I am going to do everything humanly possible to make sure I beat this and have the faith and courage. I will "be delivered and receive all that He has."
Random Decisions
So... My boss at the aquatics center quit. She was offered a better job in Salt Lake, and she's taking it. Which means... The person I dislike the most, is now my boss. Oh dear, I sure hope I make it these last three weeks. Every time I see her, I seriously want to kick her in the face. It's bad, I know.
I've also decided I'm going to Ephraim this weekend. Last minute decision, I know, but I kind of need to get away from my roommates and my friend in Ephraim needs me. Yes, I'm willing to drive two hours because she needs me. How good of a friend am I? haha just kidding, but it will be good to get away for a few days, and not have to deal with weird roommates will be nice.
Thursday is almost here. I swear, this one is coming so slow. Because I know it's almost been four weeks since I sent in my papers, and it should be issued. I hope, I hope, I hope. I've been praying a lot. I hope the Lord is hearing my prayers. Oh, I know He is, He's just teaching me patience, a whole lot of patience. Again, keep praying for me. THANKS!
I've also decided I'm going to Ephraim this weekend. Last minute decision, I know, but I kind of need to get away from my roommates and my friend in Ephraim needs me. Yes, I'm willing to drive two hours because she needs me. How good of a friend am I? haha just kidding, but it will be good to get away for a few days, and not have to deal with weird roommates will be nice.
Thursday is almost here. I swear, this one is coming so slow. Because I know it's almost been four weeks since I sent in my papers, and it should be issued. I hope, I hope, I hope. I've been praying a lot. I hope the Lord is hearing my prayers. Oh, I know He is, He's just teaching me patience, a whole lot of patience. Again, keep praying for me. THANKS!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Keep Praying!
As a loving sister reminded me of, that the time before my mission will be one of the hardest times of my life. Satan is trying to tear me down. He knows I will be a great missionary, and he doesn't want me to accomplish the goal I have set for myself.
My Bishop told me in my interview to remember that Satan is going to hate me for three things. 1) I have chosen to serve a mission. He is going to do all he can to make sure that doesn't happen. 2) As I am on my mission, he doesn't want me to find the people who are desperately searching for the true gospel of Jesus Christ. He doesn't want me to find them, and help them change their lives. 3) As I help someone change their life, think of all the generations after them who will be affected by this great work. Those three things are what Satan does NOT want to happen. Well, guess what?! He cannot stop me. :)
I am grateful I have a loving sister who reminded me of what my Bishop had said to me. I need to stay strong, and of a good courage. For the Lord, my God is with me. Withersoever I goest. (Joshua 1:9)
Well, my call was not issued this week either. :( It's okay though. I am learning patience and the power of keeping your mind occupied with work and school. I am lucky to have a job to help pass the time. I will even be able to come home for the three day weekend (which so happens to be EASTER!) I love spending time with my family. For I have been blessed with a great family. Keep praying for me!
My Bishop told me in my interview to remember that Satan is going to hate me for three things. 1) I have chosen to serve a mission. He is going to do all he can to make sure that doesn't happen. 2) As I am on my mission, he doesn't want me to find the people who are desperately searching for the true gospel of Jesus Christ. He doesn't want me to find them, and help them change their lives. 3) As I help someone change their life, think of all the generations after them who will be affected by this great work. Those three things are what Satan does NOT want to happen. Well, guess what?! He cannot stop me. :)
I am grateful I have a loving sister who reminded me of what my Bishop had said to me. I need to stay strong, and of a good courage. For the Lord, my God is with me. Withersoever I goest. (Joshua 1:9)
Well, my call was not issued this week either. :( It's okay though. I am learning patience and the power of keeping your mind occupied with work and school. I am lucky to have a job to help pass the time. I will even be able to come home for the three day weekend (which so happens to be EASTER!) I love spending time with my family. For I have been blessed with a great family. Keep praying for me!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
It's Getting Better All the Time
So last night, I was very irriated. And I spent my time being angry. WELL I am happy to report that I took my breathing techniques that I learned in Biofeed. I was able to fall asleep and not be mad or angry. It was cool to use what I have learned. Yay me!
Also, you should all pray for me. Today's Thursday. The Brethren deliberate on Thursdays. I could have a call next week. Sooo.... Pray! :)
Also, you should all pray for me. Today's Thursday. The Brethren deliberate on Thursdays. I could have a call next week. Sooo.... Pray! :)
Monday, April 4, 2011
Sick of Trying
Here I am complaining again. Sorry blogging world, I just need to complain to someone, and my family is sick and tired of listening to it.
I just want to cry. I feel like I've gained a million pounds, and I hate myself for it. Knowing what I know now, I want to go back to high school. Go back to swimming my guts out, and actually eating right. And knowing what I know now to help me from gaining weight the summer after my senior year, so that I could actually be happy with myself.
Wait, that's a lie. I wasn't happy with myself in high school, and I'm definitely not happy with myself now. I'm so tired of trying, and trying, and trying some more. And each and every time failing, harder and faster than the time before. I just can never make any headway, which makes me frustrated.
I am stuck in this vicous cycle that I just can't seem to break. I just feel broken and worthless. I bet I have failed more in my life just from the many attempts to lose weight, than I have at anything else. Which... In turn makes me feel even more broken and worthless. I'm just sick and tired of trying and nothing happening.
Okay, sorry, enough of my complaining.
I just want to cry. I feel like I've gained a million pounds, and I hate myself for it. Knowing what I know now, I want to go back to high school. Go back to swimming my guts out, and actually eating right. And knowing what I know now to help me from gaining weight the summer after my senior year, so that I could actually be happy with myself.
Wait, that's a lie. I wasn't happy with myself in high school, and I'm definitely not happy with myself now. I'm so tired of trying, and trying, and trying some more. And each and every time failing, harder and faster than the time before. I just can never make any headway, which makes me frustrated.
I am stuck in this vicous cycle that I just can't seem to break. I just feel broken and worthless. I bet I have failed more in my life just from the many attempts to lose weight, than I have at anything else. Which... In turn makes me feel even more broken and worthless. I'm just sick and tired of trying and nothing happening.
Okay, sorry, enough of my complaining.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Patience
Wow, it's already April. April 2nd to be exact, which means I will be 21 in 3 months. EEK!
Conference was fantastic, and I always enjoy watching and listening. The Church is true!
I'm guessing my call won't be sent this weekend, and I won't get it this Wednesday. The Lord is testing my patience, and I'm going to have to be very patient. Seriously, I am going to have to pray every stinkin' minute of every day just to keep myself from going insane. Oh dear. Pray for me!
Conference was fantastic, and I always enjoy watching and listening. The Church is true!
I'm guessing my call won't be sent this weekend, and I won't get it this Wednesday. The Lord is testing my patience, and I'm going to have to be very patient. Seriously, I am going to have to pray every stinkin' minute of every day just to keep myself from going insane. Oh dear. Pray for me!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Nerves
So... I swear today has been the longest day of my life. I've been praying all day that the Brethren issued me a call today. Praying. It has been on my mind all day. I can tell I am not going to sleep well tonight, because the nerves have just gotten to me. Luckily, I'm not eating my heart out.
I went to a "Biofeed" lab today. It was part of the counseling office here on campus. They hook you up to a heart monitor and then talk about different ways to lower stress. I have contributed my over-eating habits to stress (as well as boredom, but that's another story.) The counselor in charge of this session taught me one strategy for controlling and lowering my stress. It felt great!
As I sat in that chair, the lady on the recording told me to view all of my stressors and problems as sticks on a stream. They are sticks, and I am to watch them all float down stream, because most of the time, I can't control it. All the time reminding me to focus on my breathing. Each time I would envision a stressor, the heart monitor read that my heart rate had picked up. Each time I was told to focus on my breathing, it would go down. It was quite interesting. I am going to start using this technique after work... The most stressful part of my day. I think it will really help. You should try it too!
I went to a "Biofeed" lab today. It was part of the counseling office here on campus. They hook you up to a heart monitor and then talk about different ways to lower stress. I have contributed my over-eating habits to stress (as well as boredom, but that's another story.) The counselor in charge of this session taught me one strategy for controlling and lowering my stress. It felt great!
As I sat in that chair, the lady on the recording told me to view all of my stressors and problems as sticks on a stream. They are sticks, and I am to watch them all float down stream, because most of the time, I can't control it. All the time reminding me to focus on my breathing. Each time I would envision a stressor, the heart monitor read that my heart rate had picked up. Each time I was told to focus on my breathing, it would go down. It was quite interesting. I am going to start using this technique after work... The most stressful part of my day. I think it will really help. You should try it too!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Sigh of Relief
So... I am quite better from last night's rant. I was very angry, but all is better now.
Mom called me tonight and told me that the Bishop had FINALLY received my medical forms, and they will be sent to the Stake President, and on. Took them long enough, but better late than never. *phew* Apparently, they send it to the Layton Tanner Clinic, and from there to everywhere else. Lame, but oh well. It has not been lost. I am okay.
Also, I have been "Jimmered". haha! Yes, I know. A little late, eh? Oh well. I had watched all the NCAA games of March Madness (that BYU played). Now, don't get me wrong, I don't care much for BYU as a school... But when you have a kid as good as Jimmer Fredette, he's bound to cause some kind of commotion. And commotion he did. He was/is brilliant! What skill and talent. That is not luck. He had a good season for his Senior year, too bad it ended the way it did. :( I was quite sad that they did lose.
He just didn't have it last night, then again, BYU has never played that good of a team. It was a good match up, but Jimmer just couldn't do it all. The other players of the team had to step up, but they didn't step it up all the way. And that's just sad.
Mom called me tonight and told me that the Bishop had FINALLY received my medical forms, and they will be sent to the Stake President, and on. Took them long enough, but better late than never. *phew* Apparently, they send it to the Layton Tanner Clinic, and from there to everywhere else. Lame, but oh well. It has not been lost. I am okay.
Also, I have been "Jimmered". haha! Yes, I know. A little late, eh? Oh well. I had watched all the NCAA games of March Madness (that BYU played). Now, don't get me wrong, I don't care much for BYU as a school... But when you have a kid as good as Jimmer Fredette, he's bound to cause some kind of commotion. And commotion he did. He was/is brilliant! What skill and talent. That is not luck. He had a good season for his Senior year, too bad it ended the way it did. :( I was quite sad that they did lose.
He just didn't have it last night, then again, BYU has never played that good of a team. It was a good match up, but Jimmer just couldn't do it all. The other players of the team had to step up, but they didn't step it up all the way. And that's just sad.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Mad
Okay. Now I am MAD. Pissed even. (and I never say that word.)
Who do they think they are?! Tanner Clinic, you jerks. I finally decide what I need to do for the next 18 months of my life, and I'd REALLY like to prepare for it, and you decide to take you freakin' sweet time?!
Why am I mad? I just called my Bishop. He has not received my medical release forms. Tanner Clinic said they'd mail it on MONDAY!! That was four freakin' days ago. It should have gotten to my Bishop, and I could have had my call by next week. But no. Thanks for screwing that one over for me. I even gave you an envelope addressed to my Bishop. It was piece of cake!!!! You guys are lame.
Who do they think they are?! Tanner Clinic, you jerks. I finally decide what I need to do for the next 18 months of my life, and I'd REALLY like to prepare for it, and you decide to take you freakin' sweet time?!
Why am I mad? I just called my Bishop. He has not received my medical release forms. Tanner Clinic said they'd mail it on MONDAY!! That was four freakin' days ago. It should have gotten to my Bishop, and I could have had my call by next week. But no. Thanks for screwing that one over for me. I even gave you an envelope addressed to my Bishop. It was piece of cake!!!! You guys are lame.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
How Did I Get Here?
Well, Mom called Tanner Clinic yesterday to make sure they had sent my medical forms in the mail. They said they were going to do it that day. So the Bishop should be getting it in the mail today, and he will (hopefully) give them to the Stake President tonight. And my mission papers will be SENT IN!!! They review mission papers on Thursday, I could potentially have a call next Wednesday. Holy Toledo!
So, my question is... HOW DID I GET HERE?! It's kind of a surreal moment. Ever since I can remember. At least 16 years ago, I wanted to be 21. I wanted to serve a mission. (I lost focus there for a few months, but now I am back on track.) But I have still always wanted to serve. During the Christmas break last year, I was filling out my papers. It hadn't hit me then; what I was doing and how real and how close it was. Now that they are done, and almost on their way in... I look back on my life and continue to wonder how those last 16 years just flew on by. If 16 years went by quickly, I am going to blink and my 18 months as a missionary will over.
I was talking to a friend yesterday and I told her I have felt like I was 21 for a long time. And now that I am actually hitting that age (in three months) it doesn't feel any different to me. Weird? Yeah, I know. Sheesh, when did I grow up?
So, my question is... HOW DID I GET HERE?! It's kind of a surreal moment. Ever since I can remember. At least 16 years ago, I wanted to be 21. I wanted to serve a mission. (I lost focus there for a few months, but now I am back on track.) But I have still always wanted to serve. During the Christmas break last year, I was filling out my papers. It hadn't hit me then; what I was doing and how real and how close it was. Now that they are done, and almost on their way in... I look back on my life and continue to wonder how those last 16 years just flew on by. If 16 years went by quickly, I am going to blink and my 18 months as a missionary will over.
I was talking to a friend yesterday and I told her I have felt like I was 21 for a long time. And now that I am actually hitting that age (in three months) it doesn't feel any different to me. Weird? Yeah, I know. Sheesh, when did I grow up?
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Maybe Two Weeks?!
So yes, as my last post said, I have finished my mission papers. EXCELLENT!
I had my Bishop's interview and Stake President interview today. And I passed both of them. Yipee! haha (of course I would. I am not a problem child whatsoever!)
Now, all we are waiting on is my medical papers. Because I had my mission physical on Monday, and I had to come back on Wednesday for them to make sure the TB test was clear, and then the doctor was suppose to have sent them to my Bishop. Well, they didn't come in the mail Saturday. So I hope with all my heart it arrives in my Bishop's mailbox on Monday.
Stake President said I should have my call in two weeks. Whoa. Me. A missionary. In two weeks?! That is incredibly weird to think about. Let me tell you. Wow. (Can you tell I am a little freaked out?) Two short weeks. EEK!
I had my Bishop's interview and Stake President interview today. And I passed both of them. Yipee! haha (of course I would. I am not a problem child whatsoever!)
Now, all we are waiting on is my medical papers. Because I had my mission physical on Monday, and I had to come back on Wednesday for them to make sure the TB test was clear, and then the doctor was suppose to have sent them to my Bishop. Well, they didn't come in the mail Saturday. So I hope with all my heart it arrives in my Bishop's mailbox on Monday.
Stake President said I should have my call in two weeks. Whoa. Me. A missionary. In two weeks?! That is incredibly weird to think about. Let me tell you. Wow. (Can you tell I am a little freaked out?) Two short weeks. EEK!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
FINISHED!
YEP! I have finished my mission papers.
I have an interview with the Bishop on Sunday at 3. Hopefully I will be able to have an interview with my Stake President as well. Then they will be done for good and sent on in!
Hopefully by the middle or end of April, my call will be here. And I can go and serve the Lord and the people of whom I am called to serve for the next 18 months of my life. I couldn't be more excited. I am finally almost 21. I have been wanting this for as long as I can remember. Here I go!
I have an interview with the Bishop on Sunday at 3. Hopefully I will be able to have an interview with my Stake President as well. Then they will be done for good and sent on in!
Hopefully by the middle or end of April, my call will be here. And I can go and serve the Lord and the people of whom I am called to serve for the next 18 months of my life. I couldn't be more excited. I am finally almost 21. I have been wanting this for as long as I can remember. Here I go!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Spring Break Slump
So... I haven't written much (as you can tell). I kind of ran out of things to say. I have no feelings to blog about. That's usually when I write about something. When I have strong feelings about something. I guess I'm in the Spring Break slump.
I'm on spring break right now, and what a glorious time it is. Why? Because I have had the privlege of doing absolutely nothing. Yep. Nothing. I got home from school on Friday and my parents were in Israel/Egypt so I had the whole house to myself. No, I didn't throw an awesome party. I have no friends to throw it with. I'm a loser.
I went to the doctor on Monday to have my Mission Physical. I had to get my blood drawn, and let me tell you. The nurses at the Tanner Clinic are not nice at all. All the times I have donated blood, I have never gotten a bruise. Every time they have drawn blood at the Tanner Clinic... Bruises. MEAN! And it hurt for the rest of the day. Lame huh? And I had to get a shot to test if I had TB... No, I am glad to say I do not.
Because my parents were out of town, and I was home by myself. I was required to call my over-worrysome grandparents. My 91 year-old grandpa and 87 year-old grandma would talk my ear off for a half an hour each night. And, because they are so old (even though I love them to death) they would repeat the same questions over and over again. Every night, we would have the same conversation. Oh the joys of aging grandparents whose memories are failing them. Many times defending my career choice (teaching) because my grandmother thinks I should become a "typist"... Yes. Since no one in my generation knows how to type. Because typing is a much more rewarding career than changing a child's life. . .
Then I got to go pick up my parents from the airport. The entire drive home I got to hear all about their adventures in Israel and Egypt. We got home and they started pulling out all the souvenirs they had purchased, and I was looking through all the pictures they had taken. HOW JEALOUS WAS I?!?! Pyramids! The Sphinx! For real. My mother got to walk UNDER a pyramid. Oh man... Next time baby. Next time.
I'm on spring break right now, and what a glorious time it is. Why? Because I have had the privlege of doing absolutely nothing. Yep. Nothing. I got home from school on Friday and my parents were in Israel/Egypt so I had the whole house to myself. No, I didn't throw an awesome party. I have no friends to throw it with. I'm a loser.
I went to the doctor on Monday to have my Mission Physical. I had to get my blood drawn, and let me tell you. The nurses at the Tanner Clinic are not nice at all. All the times I have donated blood, I have never gotten a bruise. Every time they have drawn blood at the Tanner Clinic... Bruises. MEAN! And it hurt for the rest of the day. Lame huh? And I had to get a shot to test if I had TB... No, I am glad to say I do not.
Because my parents were out of town, and I was home by myself. I was required to call my over-worrysome grandparents. My 91 year-old grandpa and 87 year-old grandma would talk my ear off for a half an hour each night. And, because they are so old (even though I love them to death) they would repeat the same questions over and over again. Every night, we would have the same conversation. Oh the joys of aging grandparents whose memories are failing them. Many times defending my career choice (teaching) because my grandmother thinks I should become a "typist"... Yes. Since no one in my generation knows how to type. Because typing is a much more rewarding career than changing a child's life. . .
Then I got to go pick up my parents from the airport. The entire drive home I got to hear all about their adventures in Israel and Egypt. We got home and they started pulling out all the souvenirs they had purchased, and I was looking through all the pictures they had taken. HOW JEALOUS WAS I?!?! Pyramids! The Sphinx! For real. My mother got to walk UNDER a pyramid. Oh man... Next time baby. Next time.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
"You Can't See it, but You Can Feel It"
Tonight I watched A Walk to Remember. That's not really the important part, but there was one part in it that struck me. Jamie was talking about God and believing in Him. She combared it to the wind. You can't see it, but you can feel it.
That is how the Spirit works too. You can't see it, but you can definitely feel it.
"The more I study the universe, the more I believe in a Higher Being" --Albert Einstein. Smartest man in the world, and he believes in a Higher Being. Why is it so hard for people to believe in something they can't see? You know the wind is there, but you can't see it... So why can't their be a loving Heavenly Father?
There is a loving Heavenly Father. I know that with every fiber of my being. He knows and loves me (and everyone else). I am grateful I know that. I hope you know that too.
That is how the Spirit works too. You can't see it, but you can definitely feel it.
"The more I study the universe, the more I believe in a Higher Being" --Albert Einstein. Smartest man in the world, and he believes in a Higher Being. Why is it so hard for people to believe in something they can't see? You know the wind is there, but you can't see it... So why can't their be a loving Heavenly Father?
There is a loving Heavenly Father. I know that with every fiber of my being. He knows and loves me (and everyone else). I am grateful I know that. I hope you know that too.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Let Us All Press On In Work of the Lord
I just got home from the CES Fireside with Elder L. Tom Perry. Let me just say... I love that man. He is seriously one of my favorite speakers, and he was absolutely wonderful tonight.
His challenge to us is to become the "Greatest Generation". Since he comes from the generation that the world has named the greatest generation, he thinks we (young adults) can do better.
He asked us to bring our friends back to Christianity, because so many people have strayed away from religion and have said, "I am spiritual, and that's good enough." We are to become the Greatest Generation by helping everyone come back to Christianity.
He gave us 4 ways to bring others to the Gospel.
1. Daily Prayer - It is to become natural. We are to communicate with our Heavenly Father more often and with more intent.
2. Daily Scripture Study - We are to encourage others to seek out the scriptures, for they truly bring happiness.
3. Temple Worthiness - Not only are we worthy to enter the temple, we are much better examples to those around us.
4. Daily Acts of Service - As King Benjamin said, "When ye are in the service of your fellowmen, we are only in the service of your God." Mosiah 2:17 Have Christlike service, that also brings true happiness.
I add my testimony with his, Jesus Christ lives. He died for us. Through Him, and only by Him can we repent and return to our Heavenly Father. May we always remember that.
His challenge to us is to become the "Greatest Generation". Since he comes from the generation that the world has named the greatest generation, he thinks we (young adults) can do better.
He asked us to bring our friends back to Christianity, because so many people have strayed away from religion and have said, "I am spiritual, and that's good enough." We are to become the Greatest Generation by helping everyone come back to Christianity.
He gave us 4 ways to bring others to the Gospel.
1. Daily Prayer - It is to become natural. We are to communicate with our Heavenly Father more often and with more intent.
2. Daily Scripture Study - We are to encourage others to seek out the scriptures, for they truly bring happiness.
3. Temple Worthiness - Not only are we worthy to enter the temple, we are much better examples to those around us.
4. Daily Acts of Service - As King Benjamin said, "When ye are in the service of your fellowmen, we are only in the service of your God." Mosiah 2:17 Have Christlike service, that also brings true happiness.
I add my testimony with his, Jesus Christ lives. He died for us. Through Him, and only by Him can we repent and return to our Heavenly Father. May we always remember that.
Friday, March 4, 2011
I Love to See the Temple
Oh yes. It is true, I do indeed love to see the temple.
Today we went to the temple. Oh how it was nice to be back inside that Holy building. I kept thinking about my future and what it was I needed to be doing. No, I had no sudden revelation. I was not told exactly what my future entails. Nor was I guided in the right direction. My mind is having a huge battle with itself, and sometimes I just want to turn it off.
Do I do this? Do I do that? HOW DO I KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME?!!? I don't. But that is where faith comes in. I just have to trust in the Lord and everything will work out. The same thought kept coming back into my head, though, as I was sitting in the temple. It was "Be still, and know that I am God." D & C 101:16. Through all the craziness, and weird stuff going on in my life, all I need to remember is that He is God, and He knows what He is doing.
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5
So if I don't know anything else, I hope that is the one thing I do know. The Lord knows all, and He will help me see what I am capable of, all in due time.
Today we went to the temple. Oh how it was nice to be back inside that Holy building. I kept thinking about my future and what it was I needed to be doing. No, I had no sudden revelation. I was not told exactly what my future entails. Nor was I guided in the right direction. My mind is having a huge battle with itself, and sometimes I just want to turn it off.
Do I do this? Do I do that? HOW DO I KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME?!!? I don't. But that is where faith comes in. I just have to trust in the Lord and everything will work out. The same thought kept coming back into my head, though, as I was sitting in the temple. It was "Be still, and know that I am God." D & C 101:16. Through all the craziness, and weird stuff going on in my life, all I need to remember is that He is God, and He knows what He is doing.
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5
So if I don't know anything else, I hope that is the one thing I do know. The Lord knows all, and He will help me see what I am capable of, all in due time.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Answers
Hm.... What to say now? The moment I've waited two years for has come and gone. Now what do I look forward to? Okay, there were several moments that helped pass the days. And now, I won't be receiving letters either. I love getting mail, I think that's the best part about having a writing buddy, you always have mail. Maybe I should write my other friends...
I get to go do Baptisms for the Dead on Friday night at the St. George Temple. I'm rather excited. It's been a long time since I've gone to the temple, maybe I will get my answer as I am sitting and pondering in that Holy place. To serve a mission, or not to serve. That is the question. I still don't know if that is what the Lord wants me to do. Mom keeps saying that sometimes you don't find out if it's the right thing until you are in the MTC. And I asked her well what if I get told that it isn't the right things when I get there. She said, "If it's doing a good thing, then it's going to be right." Touche Mom.
Anyway, my papers are all done, I just need the physical and the interview from my Stake President. Then they can be sent away. Yipee!
I get to go do Baptisms for the Dead on Friday night at the St. George Temple. I'm rather excited. It's been a long time since I've gone to the temple, maybe I will get my answer as I am sitting and pondering in that Holy place. To serve a mission, or not to serve. That is the question. I still don't know if that is what the Lord wants me to do. Mom keeps saying that sometimes you don't find out if it's the right thing until you are in the MTC. And I asked her well what if I get told that it isn't the right things when I get there. She said, "If it's doing a good thing, then it's going to be right." Touche Mom.
Anyway, my papers are all done, I just need the physical and the interview from my Stake President. Then they can be sent away. Yipee!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
And the Answer is No
So I did it. The last time I asked a boy this, I got over him faster. Problem solved.
What did I ask him? If there was any possibility of a future. He said No. And I said.. Okay, that's what I needed to hear. Now all flames of hope have been extinguished, and my heart can move on.
He taught me a lot of things, and helped make me a better person. That's the best I could ask for.
Oddly enough, I feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience. I know he means it, yet I'm okay with it. Maybe it will hit me tomorrow, maybe it won't come at all. All I know is it's over. Seven years of wondering, put to rest.
What did I ask him? If there was any possibility of a future. He said No. And I said.. Okay, that's what I needed to hear. Now all flames of hope have been extinguished, and my heart can move on.
He taught me a lot of things, and helped make me a better person. That's the best I could ask for.
Oddly enough, I feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience. I know he means it, yet I'm okay with it. Maybe it will hit me tomorrow, maybe it won't come at all. All I know is it's over. Seven years of wondering, put to rest.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
I'm a Loser
So... I need someone to vent to, and well, writing always helps so that is how I ended up here.
I have been writing this kid for his entire mission. He asked me to when he first left, and we were good enough friends that I, of course, said yes. That was my first mistake. Did I mention I've liked this kid nearly all of my life? What on earth did I get myself into?
Well, now he is home, and we haven't talked yet. Every single one of his letters told me how glad he was that I was writing him. He was so thankful for our friendship. What's a girl to think? *sigh* Of course I got sucked in, with his charm, his knowledge of the gospel, the fact that he has every quality I want in a husband, and I know him quite well. I told myself I wouldn't let this happen. Yet here I am, placed on his backburner, and forgotten about.
Of course, there is a Beatles song for everything... So here it is. "I'm a Loser"
I'm a loser
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
Of all the love I have won or have lost
there is one love I should never have crossed
She [he] was a girl [boy] in a million, my friend
I should have known she [he] would win in the end
I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
Although I laugh and I act like a clown
Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown
My tears are falling like rain from the sky
Is it for her [him] or myself that I cry
I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
What have I done to deserve such a fate
I realize I have left it too late
And so it's true, pride comes before a fall
I'm telling you so that you won't lose all
I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
I have been writing this kid for his entire mission. He asked me to when he first left, and we were good enough friends that I, of course, said yes. That was my first mistake. Did I mention I've liked this kid nearly all of my life? What on earth did I get myself into?
Well, now he is home, and we haven't talked yet. Every single one of his letters told me how glad he was that I was writing him. He was so thankful for our friendship. What's a girl to think? *sigh* Of course I got sucked in, with his charm, his knowledge of the gospel, the fact that he has every quality I want in a husband, and I know him quite well. I told myself I wouldn't let this happen. Yet here I am, placed on his backburner, and forgotten about.
Of course, there is a Beatles song for everything... So here it is. "I'm a Loser"
I'm a loser
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
Of all the love I have won or have lost
there is one love I should never have crossed
She [he] was a girl [boy] in a million, my friend
I should have known she [he] would win in the end
I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
Although I laugh and I act like a clown
Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown
My tears are falling like rain from the sky
Is it for her [him] or myself that I cry
I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
What have I done to deserve such a fate
I realize I have left it too late
And so it's true, pride comes before a fall
I'm telling you so that you won't lose all
I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
Friday, February 25, 2011
New Title
So... I decided that A Day in the Life was getting old, and I've decided that this journey I'm on is more of a long and winding road.
Of which, both of these titles are Beatles songs, so I'm still staying true to my love of the Beatles. :)
And now, The Long and Winding Road
The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to your door.
The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day.
Why leave me standing here?
Let me know the way.
Many times I've been alone
And many times I've cried,
Anyway you'll never know
The many ways I've tried.
And still they lead me back
To the long, winding road
You left me standing here
A long, long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door.
But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long, long time ago (ohhh)
Don't keep me waiting here (don't keep me waiting)
Lead me to your door. (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Of which, both of these titles are Beatles songs, so I'm still staying true to my love of the Beatles. :)
And now, The Long and Winding Road
The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to your door.
The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day.
Why leave me standing here?
Let me know the way.
Many times I've been alone
And many times I've cried,
Anyway you'll never know
The many ways I've tried.
And still they lead me back
To the long, winding road
You left me standing here
A long, long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door.
But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long, long time ago (ohhh)
Don't keep me waiting here (don't keep me waiting)
Lead me to your door. (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Thursday, February 24, 2011
He Is We
My friend has introduced me to a new band. And I really like them a lot. If you've never heard of them, you better look them up. They're pretty good. The band is called "He Is We".
This is their song, "Happily Ever After"
Let me riddle you a ditty, it's just an itty bitty, little thing on my mind.
About a boy and a girl, trying to take on the world one kiss at a time.
Now the funny thing about, ain't a story without it, but the story is mine.
And I wish you could say, that it ended just fine.
We all want to know, how it ends.
Oh, happily ever after, wouldn't you know, wouldn't you know.
Oh, skip to the ending, who'd like to know, I'd like to know.
Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?
Inhale, breathe steady, exhale, like you're ready, if you're ready or not.
Just a boy and a girl trying to take on the world, and we want to get caught.
In the middle of a very happy ending, let's see what we've got, let's give it a shot.
Let's give it a shot.
We all want to know, how it ends.
Oh, happily ever after, wouldn't you know, wouldn't you know.
Oh, skip to the ending, who'd like to know, I'd like to know.
Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?
We all have a story to tell.
Whether we whisper or yell.
We all have a story, of adolescence and all it's glory.
We all have a story to tell.
Oh, happily ever after, wouldn't you know, wouldn't you know.
Oh, skip to the ending, who'd like to know, I'd like to know.
Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?
We all have a story to tell.
We all have a story to tell.
We all have a story to tell.
We all have a story to tell.
This is their song, "Happily Ever After"
Let me riddle you a ditty, it's just an itty bitty, little thing on my mind.
About a boy and a girl, trying to take on the world one kiss at a time.
Now the funny thing about, ain't a story without it, but the story is mine.
And I wish you could say, that it ended just fine.
We all want to know, how it ends.
Oh, happily ever after, wouldn't you know, wouldn't you know.
Oh, skip to the ending, who'd like to know, I'd like to know.
Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?
Inhale, breathe steady, exhale, like you're ready, if you're ready or not.
Just a boy and a girl trying to take on the world, and we want to get caught.
In the middle of a very happy ending, let's see what we've got, let's give it a shot.
Let's give it a shot.
We all want to know, how it ends.
Oh, happily ever after, wouldn't you know, wouldn't you know.
Oh, skip to the ending, who'd like to know, I'd like to know.
Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?
We all have a story to tell.
Whether we whisper or yell.
We all have a story, of adolescence and all it's glory.
We all have a story to tell.
Oh, happily ever after, wouldn't you know, wouldn't you know.
Oh, skip to the ending, who'd like to know, I'd like to know.
Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?
We all have a story to tell.
We all have a story to tell.
We all have a story to tell.
We all have a story to tell.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I'm So Lucky!
WELCOME TO THE WORLD TIMOTHY DONALD!!!!
Yes, I have a new nephew, and he is he cutest thing on this planet... Except for maybe his siblings (and Thomas); he definitely comes from a cute family. :) He was born February 17th at 3:17 in the morning. He is 8 lbs 2 oz and 22 inches long! I am so excited for him to be part of their family, and in turn, my family.
Yes, I have a new nephew, and he is he cutest thing on this planet... Except for maybe his siblings (and Thomas); he definitely comes from a cute family. :) He was born February 17th at 3:17 in the morning. He is 8 lbs 2 oz and 22 inches long! I am so excited for him to be part of their family, and in turn, my family.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
School, Work, and Sleep
Well, it's kind of been a boring week.
Nothing much has been going on; just doing the usual school, work, and sleep.
I need to go to the library again, and I need some good books to read, any ideas?
Nothing much has been going on; just doing the usual school, work, and sleep.
I need to go to the library again, and I need some good books to read, any ideas?
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day!
These are the roses Dad gave me for Valentine's Day. I am so lucky to have such a great Dad. He thought of me this Valentine's Day... Sorry Mom! :) He's so great, I am so grateful for the opportunity I was able to have to spend the weekend with him. I love you Dad!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Be Strong and of a Good Courage
Tonight I was on the giving end of advice and strength and courage. This just increased my testimony ever so slightly of the love our Heavenly Father has for me and everyone else. He is rooting for us, and He is always encouraging us to be better than what we think we can be.
"The thermostat on the furnace of affliction will not have been set too high for us--though clearly we may think so at the time. Our God is a refining God who has been tempering soul-steel for a very long time. He knows when the right edge has been put upon our excellence and also when there is more in us than we have yet given." -- Elder Neal A. Maxwell
This is a quote we learned in my Old Testament Institute class. Reminds me of the process of trials, and we we are on this earth. Our God IS a refining God and He will keep allowing us trials to help us become better and stronger. He loves us. Keep trying, and keep fighting. He will fight with us.
"The thermostat on the furnace of affliction will not have been set too high for us--though clearly we may think so at the time. Our God is a refining God who has been tempering soul-steel for a very long time. He knows when the right edge has been put upon our excellence and also when there is more in us than we have yet given." -- Elder Neal A. Maxwell
This is a quote we learned in my Old Testament Institute class. Reminds me of the process of trials, and we we are on this earth. Our God IS a refining God and He will keep allowing us trials to help us become better and stronger. He loves us. Keep trying, and keep fighting. He will fight with us.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Beatlemania
It was 47 years ago today, the Beatles first landed in America. Their song, "I Want to Hold Your Hand" was number one. As well as "I Saw Her Standing There", "She Loves You", "Please Please Me", and "Twist and Shout".
No other music group has had the same success as the Beatles. They are the only band to hold the top 5 slots in the music charts at one time.
Oh how I love them. They changed the way the world views music. They are the greatest!
No other music group has had the same success as the Beatles. They are the only band to hold the top 5 slots in the music charts at one time.
Oh how I love them. They changed the way the world views music. They are the greatest!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Testimony is Power
So, I love church. I absolutely love going to church. I feelllllllll amazing when I go, and I'm always spiritually fed. It's great.
Our fast and testimony was great. Many people bore their testimony on the Book of Mormon. I'd like to add to theirs. The Book of Mormon is true. Not only is it true, but it's real. It's a real documentation of the Nephites and Lamanites. It was written for our day, and each time I read it, it tells me something different, and what I needed at the specific time in my life. If you looked at my Book of Mormon, you'd see that it has been read several times and marked in different colors for the different times I've read it, and it means everything to me.
Then in Relief Society, we talked about creating our profile on Mormon.org. The number was given out that it has over 50,000 profiles on it since 2001. Their goal is to raise the number to 100,000. So if you haven't created a profile, do so now. Your testimony is the most important thing to give to someone else, why not share it? After we talked about that, we listened to a CD of several past [and present] Prophets and Apostles share their testimony of the Savior and His Atonement. Oh it was powerful, and the Spirit was definitely there. I quite enjoyed it, and again, make a profile on Mormon.org. You could change someone's life for the better.
Our fast and testimony was great. Many people bore their testimony on the Book of Mormon. I'd like to add to theirs. The Book of Mormon is true. Not only is it true, but it's real. It's a real documentation of the Nephites and Lamanites. It was written for our day, and each time I read it, it tells me something different, and what I needed at the specific time in my life. If you looked at my Book of Mormon, you'd see that it has been read several times and marked in different colors for the different times I've read it, and it means everything to me.
Then in Relief Society, we talked about creating our profile on Mormon.org. The number was given out that it has over 50,000 profiles on it since 2001. Their goal is to raise the number to 100,000. So if you haven't created a profile, do so now. Your testimony is the most important thing to give to someone else, why not share it? After we talked about that, we listened to a CD of several past [and present] Prophets and Apostles share their testimony of the Savior and His Atonement. Oh it was powerful, and the Spirit was definitely there. I quite enjoyed it, and again, make a profile on Mormon.org. You could change someone's life for the better.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Influence
October 10, 2010 is the date I started this blog. It is now February 3, 2011 and I was looking back at my Stats. I have had over 800 people look at my blog. I hope I have helped someone in some way. I have born my testimony several times, and have shared my struggles. I hope I have encouraged someone to be better.
So I went to the Psychologist Center today, and they put me on a waiting list of two weeks. The secretary said that they review the patients every Wednesday, and see if they need to move people up. I said that I was okay to be on the waiting list, but I am kinda hoping that it is earlier than two weeks.
I feel with my realization of the Atonement in my life, this time the therapy and help will "stick" and I will be able to have better self control and finally beat this.
I'm worried about the rest of my life. If this is going to be a life long battle, am I going to have to go to therapy for the rest of my life? How do people go to therapy and change? I thought I was doing really well, and changing, and here I am back at square one. I am no stranger to hard work, and I can do it, but when it comes to success, why do I quit? You'd think that if you see the results you want that you would be more motivated to continue on and keep being successful. Not me. For some reason, I don't do that. And I need to find out why.
So I went to the Psychologist Center today, and they put me on a waiting list of two weeks. The secretary said that they review the patients every Wednesday, and see if they need to move people up. I said that I was okay to be on the waiting list, but I am kinda hoping that it is earlier than two weeks.
I feel with my realization of the Atonement in my life, this time the therapy and help will "stick" and I will be able to have better self control and finally beat this.
I'm worried about the rest of my life. If this is going to be a life long battle, am I going to have to go to therapy for the rest of my life? How do people go to therapy and change? I thought I was doing really well, and changing, and here I am back at square one. I am no stranger to hard work, and I can do it, but when it comes to success, why do I quit? You'd think that if you see the results you want that you would be more motivated to continue on and keep being successful. Not me. For some reason, I don't do that. And I need to find out why.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
A Wise Sister
So, not only do I have a wise friend, I have a wise sister, whom I'm very grateful.
She asked me how I got good at swimming.
I told her I just did it. And I had someone always yelling at me.
She said, "No, you practice. And with practice you will always screw up until you get it right."
Yes Jo, that's what mistakes are for, to help us learn and grow from. Only if that's how we take them. I will take my mistakes, and learn from them. So I can be better than yesterday, better than today. And keep going until I have past this.
Tomorrow I'm going to the school pyschologist. Wish me luck!
She asked me how I got good at swimming.
I told her I just did it. And I had someone always yelling at me.
She said, "No, you practice. And with practice you will always screw up until you get it right."
Yes Jo, that's what mistakes are for, to help us learn and grow from. Only if that's how we take them. I will take my mistakes, and learn from them. So I can be better than yesterday, better than today. And keep going until I have past this.
Tomorrow I'm going to the school pyschologist. Wish me luck!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
A Wise Friend
I am lucky enough to have an amazing friend who is always willing to listen to me, and help me in times of need, and this weekend was definitely a time of need. She said to me,
"Your challenge you told me about, the way you came out of that proves to me how strong you are and that you can fight and win. You just need to remind yourself of that strength. You are beautiful just the way you are. You are a caring individual to those who are close to you. Don't forget that. Don't forget that you are amazing and a fighter. Those are good qualities to have. Satan is always going to be there, even when you finally feel you have defeated him and won. He strikes when we are at our most vulnerable state of mind. But the Lord gave us a choice. To fight and fight against him or to wave a white flage and surrender. And you my friend are a fighter and that tickes him off so he tries harder and harder."
What a great friend I have. Krista Lynn, I love you! She reminded me of what's really important. I felt like I had finally defeated me. Instead of staying strong, I got a little lazy, and Satan saw that opportunity and seized it. I let this happen. Not anymore. She also said,
"You aren't allowing yourself to feel the postivies from the weeks that you do work hard. If you continue to be in control with a negative attitude you are going to coninue to relapse. Changing your attitude is just as difficult, if not harder... If you continue to think you are only going to fail in your life, then you aren't going to get very far."
She's completely right. Attitude is everything. And I haven't picked a very good one. I need and want to get back to how I was a week ago. Positive, happy, and very much in control. But to be in control the right way.
Today in Relief Society we talked about sexual sin (or sexual abuse), and using the Atonement to repent. Having never committed a sexual sin, I decided to think of it in my situation. This lesson today was exactly what I needed. I sat sobbing in the back of the classroom because I remembered all the good and positive feelings I felt when I came to the realization of having the Atonement in my life. I needed to hear it, and what calm feelings came over me. It was a good reminder. There is a reason why 'Remember' is the most common word in the Book of Mormon. We always need to be reminded, and to remember.
This picture was given to use in our Relif Society meeting. The teacher's son (she's the wife of the 2nd counsler in the Bishopric) is the artist, and he names this picture "The Prince of Peace" because only through Christ can peace come. I will look at it often.
"Your challenge you told me about, the way you came out of that proves to me how strong you are and that you can fight and win. You just need to remind yourself of that strength. You are beautiful just the way you are. You are a caring individual to those who are close to you. Don't forget that. Don't forget that you are amazing and a fighter. Those are good qualities to have. Satan is always going to be there, even when you finally feel you have defeated him and won. He strikes when we are at our most vulnerable state of mind. But the Lord gave us a choice. To fight and fight against him or to wave a white flage and surrender. And you my friend are a fighter and that tickes him off so he tries harder and harder."
What a great friend I have. Krista Lynn, I love you! She reminded me of what's really important. I felt like I had finally defeated me. Instead of staying strong, I got a little lazy, and Satan saw that opportunity and seized it. I let this happen. Not anymore. She also said,
"You aren't allowing yourself to feel the postivies from the weeks that you do work hard. If you continue to be in control with a negative attitude you are going to coninue to relapse. Changing your attitude is just as difficult, if not harder... If you continue to think you are only going to fail in your life, then you aren't going to get very far."
She's completely right. Attitude is everything. And I haven't picked a very good one. I need and want to get back to how I was a week ago. Positive, happy, and very much in control. But to be in control the right way.
Today in Relief Society we talked about sexual sin (or sexual abuse), and using the Atonement to repent. Having never committed a sexual sin, I decided to think of it in my situation. This lesson today was exactly what I needed. I sat sobbing in the back of the classroom because I remembered all the good and positive feelings I felt when I came to the realization of having the Atonement in my life. I needed to hear it, and what calm feelings came over me. It was a good reminder. There is a reason why 'Remember' is the most common word in the Book of Mormon. We always need to be reminded, and to remember.
This picture was given to use in our Relif Society meeting. The teacher's son (she's the wife of the 2nd counsler in the Bishopric) is the artist, and he names this picture "The Prince of Peace" because only through Christ can peace come. I will look at it often.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Failed
Why does this have to be so difficult? Change is sooooo difficult. It isn't impossible, I know that, but why does it always feel that way?
I practically ate everything in sight today. I didn't want to, nor did I need to. But I did it anyway. Usually, I know the cause, but today, I just couldn't pinpoint it. I have been... Well, I once was doing so well, then I got lazy. I didn't want to get lazy. I didn't want to do anything I wasn't suppose to, it just sorta happened. I let it slip through my fingers and I feel like I'm back at square one. :(
I think it's time I go into the psychologist's office on campus and seek real help. I know what I need to do. And how to live my life, but sometimes, I lose focus. I lose what's truly important. Satan is working so hard on me. And he knows the right things to say to me, the perfect little phrases to get me to think the worst of myself.
I pray and pray for help, but my will is just not strong enough. People tell me I'm strong, but in all reality, I'm not. I'm weak, and lazy. I know the Lord can help me. But for some reason Satan seems stronger. I can't do this on my own, and the Lord can help me, why can't I change?
Why do I turn to food for all the wrong reasons? Do I use it to pass time? Do I use it as a form of comfort? Do I use it to help relieve stress? Why is it that I can't find other things to do, instead of eat? Eating is just so convinent. It's always there. Where as exercising, I have to change into workout clothes, do my hair, go. Then I have to shower afterwards, dry my hair, ect. But that isn't the case with eating. This could also be that I'm just lazy. Sometimes I feel like I'm too busy with work and school, sleeping and such to do it, but I'm not always busy.
Now I'm just rambling, but my thoughts are all a jumble, and I feel like I have no control over anything. Just like someone who cuts themselves, or is anorexic, or bulimic... We feel like we have no control over anything, so we turn to forms of self-tourcher to give us that control. To any who has an addiction, we all feel the same. And I know a little bit about what you are going through.
You commit to do better. You tell yourself you aren't going to be that way anymore. Yet somehow, you slip up. Consciously you tell yourself you don't want to be that way, and you don't want to do it. But for some unknown reason, you find yourself doing the exact thing you told yourself you weren't going to do anymore. So the next day you try. And they day after that. You just get in this vicious cycle, and you can't seem to get out. "You don't drown by falling in water, you drown by staying there." We all stay there, because we can't figure out how to swim. We can't figure out how to make it, stay afloat, and succeed. We end up drowning. And that sucks.
I practically ate everything in sight today. I didn't want to, nor did I need to. But I did it anyway. Usually, I know the cause, but today, I just couldn't pinpoint it. I have been... Well, I once was doing so well, then I got lazy. I didn't want to get lazy. I didn't want to do anything I wasn't suppose to, it just sorta happened. I let it slip through my fingers and I feel like I'm back at square one. :(
I think it's time I go into the psychologist's office on campus and seek real help. I know what I need to do. And how to live my life, but sometimes, I lose focus. I lose what's truly important. Satan is working so hard on me. And he knows the right things to say to me, the perfect little phrases to get me to think the worst of myself.
I pray and pray for help, but my will is just not strong enough. People tell me I'm strong, but in all reality, I'm not. I'm weak, and lazy. I know the Lord can help me. But for some reason Satan seems stronger. I can't do this on my own, and the Lord can help me, why can't I change?
Why do I turn to food for all the wrong reasons? Do I use it to pass time? Do I use it as a form of comfort? Do I use it to help relieve stress? Why is it that I can't find other things to do, instead of eat? Eating is just so convinent. It's always there. Where as exercising, I have to change into workout clothes, do my hair, go. Then I have to shower afterwards, dry my hair, ect. But that isn't the case with eating. This could also be that I'm just lazy. Sometimes I feel like I'm too busy with work and school, sleeping and such to do it, but I'm not always busy.
Now I'm just rambling, but my thoughts are all a jumble, and I feel like I have no control over anything. Just like someone who cuts themselves, or is anorexic, or bulimic... We feel like we have no control over anything, so we turn to forms of self-tourcher to give us that control. To any who has an addiction, we all feel the same. And I know a little bit about what you are going through.
You commit to do better. You tell yourself you aren't going to be that way anymore. Yet somehow, you slip up. Consciously you tell yourself you don't want to be that way, and you don't want to do it. But for some unknown reason, you find yourself doing the exact thing you told yourself you weren't going to do anymore. So the next day you try. And they day after that. You just get in this vicious cycle, and you can't seem to get out. "You don't drown by falling in water, you drown by staying there." We all stay there, because we can't figure out how to swim. We can't figure out how to make it, stay afloat, and succeed. We end up drowning. And that sucks.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
Does it ever feel like when you're trying to accomplish something extremely hard, and whenever you do something right, you end up taking two steps back? I do. And I hate it. As I work on this goal to beat this eating disorder, I make progress, and I take a step forward. And then, WHABAM! I'm pushed two steps back.
I'm sitting here thinking about this constant struggle within my head, a thought comes into my head, "You are no better than the people of the Old Testament and the Book of Mormon." Time and time again have I been given answers to my prayers. Found answers in the scriptures, and have countless spiritual experiences, and, like I said, make progress. Then, I'm fall flat on my butt trying to start all over again. Constantly the people in the Old Testatment and Book of Mormon are reminded of the Lord and all He has done for them. Yet they manage to fall right back into temptation and sin.
How am I any different? I always think to myself, "How can they be so stupid? Clearly the Lord is there and willing to help, but they find it too easy to live in sin." Again, how am I any different? Clearly the Lord is there and willing to help, but I find it too easy to go back to my addiction and be as I was before. "God has entrusted me with myself"... and I'm failing Him. I'm failing myself, and I'm failing all those who love me.
Why is it so hard? You'd think trying to do the right thing, it would be easy. So why am I having such a hard time with this? I'm becoming lazy, and that is not okay. Just like the people of the Old Testament and Book of Mormon, laziness is not good. "This is a time when we have to choose between that which is right, and that which is easy." -- Professor Dumbledore I've alreayd posted this quote once before in one of my blogs, but I decided I needed it again. Easy is having an addiction. What's right is overcoming that addiction, and doing all I can to conquer it.
Doctrine and Covenants 6:22-23
This is my favorite scripture, it reminds me what I have been given. "Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?" He has told me. And I need to remember. He has spoken peace to my heart concerning the matter. I need to trust in Him.
I'm sitting here thinking about this constant struggle within my head, a thought comes into my head, "You are no better than the people of the Old Testament and the Book of Mormon." Time and time again have I been given answers to my prayers. Found answers in the scriptures, and have countless spiritual experiences, and, like I said, make progress. Then, I'm fall flat on my butt trying to start all over again. Constantly the people in the Old Testatment and Book of Mormon are reminded of the Lord and all He has done for them. Yet they manage to fall right back into temptation and sin.
How am I any different? I always think to myself, "How can they be so stupid? Clearly the Lord is there and willing to help, but they find it too easy to live in sin." Again, how am I any different? Clearly the Lord is there and willing to help, but I find it too easy to go back to my addiction and be as I was before. "God has entrusted me with myself"... and I'm failing Him. I'm failing myself, and I'm failing all those who love me.
Why is it so hard? You'd think trying to do the right thing, it would be easy. So why am I having such a hard time with this? I'm becoming lazy, and that is not okay. Just like the people of the Old Testament and Book of Mormon, laziness is not good. "This is a time when we have to choose between that which is right, and that which is easy." -- Professor Dumbledore I've alreayd posted this quote once before in one of my blogs, but I decided I needed it again. Easy is having an addiction. What's right is overcoming that addiction, and doing all I can to conquer it.
Doctrine and Covenants 6:22-23
This is my favorite scripture, it reminds me what I have been given. "Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?" He has told me. And I need to remember. He has spoken peace to my heart concerning the matter. I need to trust in Him.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Spiritual Highs
I LOVE Spiritual Highs, I absolutely love them... But they make returning to normal life extremely hard. Having just recently come off my Atonement spiritual high, I am quite vulnerable to Satan and his wants and wishes. I'm fighting so hard against him, and he isn't making it any easier. Finding out more and more about myself, and who I want and wish to be, and each time, he whispers in my ear, "You aren't good enough." "The Atonement isn't for you." "You do need to do this on your own, and you can't accomplish this goal. You should just give up now." Oh boy.
It's hard enough, and he just keeps making it harder. You know what that means? More time on my knees, more time studying the scriptures, and more time spent doing worthwhile things, instead of sitting in self-pity and losing control of my thoughts. I wonder if this is what missionaries feel like right when they come home. Having this two year spiritual high, and then crash-landing in real life, and being smacked by Satan. Eww! No wonder they have a hard time.
I really do need to spend more time on my knees. Talking with our Heavenly Father just seems to make everything better. Ever get that feeling? And reading my scriptures. I just got to 3 Nephi 11. I cried. When the Savior comes to the Americas, just after He has been resurrected. I could imagine being one of the Nephities, and feeling the prints of the nails in His hands and feet. The look on His face, it just brought joy to my heart. I need moments like this all the time.
The Atonement is real. Jesus died for me. Someone once said, "Even if I was the only person on this earth, Christ still would have died for me." How true is that? What a blessing to have someone who loves us THAT much. He is my Savior. And He loves me.
It's hard enough, and he just keeps making it harder. You know what that means? More time on my knees, more time studying the scriptures, and more time spent doing worthwhile things, instead of sitting in self-pity and losing control of my thoughts. I wonder if this is what missionaries feel like right when they come home. Having this two year spiritual high, and then crash-landing in real life, and being smacked by Satan. Eww! No wonder they have a hard time.
I really do need to spend more time on my knees. Talking with our Heavenly Father just seems to make everything better. Ever get that feeling? And reading my scriptures. I just got to 3 Nephi 11. I cried. When the Savior comes to the Americas, just after He has been resurrected. I could imagine being one of the Nephities, and feeling the prints of the nails in His hands and feet. The look on His face, it just brought joy to my heart. I need moments like this all the time.
The Atonement is real. Jesus died for me. Someone once said, "Even if I was the only person on this earth, Christ still would have died for me." How true is that? What a blessing to have someone who loves us THAT much. He is my Savior. And He loves me.
Monday, January 24, 2011
alt="I'm a Mormon."/>Saturday, January 22, 2011
Don't Give in to Temptations
Mom is using this quote in her lesson tomorrow on the Temptations of the Savior. It's a good quote about strength and enduring to the end.
C.S. Lewis eloquently described the virtue and the rationale behind the temptations of Jesus in this setting. He said: "No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation meas. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of [an] army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means."
C.S. Lewis eloquently described the virtue and the rationale behind the temptations of Jesus in this setting. He said: "No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation meas. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of [an] army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means."
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Healing
So I thought I'd update you all, even if you don't really care. I do, and I've read that putting this on the internet is a good way of keeping you on task. Because you are more accountable with unknown people reading your blog. So because of that, I'm sharing. If don't want like it, don't read it. As simple as that...
Anyway, today was the first day of eating real food again. I don't know how it will go down, but I think I've got it. I think I might have a control over things. I made spaghetti with whole wheat pasta, and I ate the right serving size. I think with my serious cut back the last two weeks, I have finally learned that, yes! I am full with the correct serving size. I am not hungry, nor do I have the desire to eat anything. I am bored, but I don't have the desire to eat anything.
I was going to post this yesterday, but I forgot and got super busy. BUT, this is what I was feeling yesterday. For the first time, I was feeling hope. I was finally feeling the happiness that comes from having prayers answered. I have always been someone who knew the Atonement was real, and yes, it works... But always thought it was for someone else. I always thought I had to do this on my own. I have been lying to myself for the last 20 years of my life. This isn't true, and I don't have to do it on my own. I am finally feelings the effects of serious prayer and fasting, because I am finally allowing it into my life. It's been there all along, I just never let it in. I felt joy, and happiness. And I felt so much love from my Father in Heaven. I can do this, and I will succeed.
My testimony of prayer and fasting has grown leaps and bounds in just two weeks. Everything seems so real to me now. The power of prayer and fasting is amazing, and I know it is real. Heavenly Father wants us to be happy, and succeed, and the only way we can do that is if we allow Him into our lives. Allow Him to help us. Every night I thank my Heavenly Father for helping me through that day. Helping me succeed that day. Which gives me more strength and courage to take on the next day. If I didn't fail the day before, I won't fail today either.
I ate some cookies last Sunday. Normally, I would have thought, "Oops, I messed up. Oh well, I guess that means I can just give up." I didn't do that. Monday morning came, and I was right back to my strict diet, and nothing swayed me. I was so proud of myself, as well as asking again for the Lord's help. I was able to bounce back, and carry on. It was great!
Anyway, today was the first day of eating real food again. I don't know how it will go down, but I think I've got it. I think I might have a control over things. I made spaghetti with whole wheat pasta, and I ate the right serving size. I think with my serious cut back the last two weeks, I have finally learned that, yes! I am full with the correct serving size. I am not hungry, nor do I have the desire to eat anything. I am bored, but I don't have the desire to eat anything.
I was going to post this yesterday, but I forgot and got super busy. BUT, this is what I was feeling yesterday. For the first time, I was feeling hope. I was finally feeling the happiness that comes from having prayers answered. I have always been someone who knew the Atonement was real, and yes, it works... But always thought it was for someone else. I always thought I had to do this on my own. I have been lying to myself for the last 20 years of my life. This isn't true, and I don't have to do it on my own. I am finally feelings the effects of serious prayer and fasting, because I am finally allowing it into my life. It's been there all along, I just never let it in. I felt joy, and happiness. And I felt so much love from my Father in Heaven. I can do this, and I will succeed.
My testimony of prayer and fasting has grown leaps and bounds in just two weeks. Everything seems so real to me now. The power of prayer and fasting is amazing, and I know it is real. Heavenly Father wants us to be happy, and succeed, and the only way we can do that is if we allow Him into our lives. Allow Him to help us. Every night I thank my Heavenly Father for helping me through that day. Helping me succeed that day. Which gives me more strength and courage to take on the next day. If I didn't fail the day before, I won't fail today either.
I ate some cookies last Sunday. Normally, I would have thought, "Oops, I messed up. Oh well, I guess that means I can just give up." I didn't do that. Monday morning came, and I was right back to my strict diet, and nothing swayed me. I was so proud of myself, as well as asking again for the Lord's help. I was able to bounce back, and carry on. It was great!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Whole Bunch of Stupid?
HAHA so tonight, my roommates and I were sitting around downstairs just talking. They had eaten a whole bunch of cookies, so they were on a sugar high. One of my roommates is obsessed with Star Trek, and she said she wanted to be a Vulcan, and have her heart where her liver is. My other roommates said, "That would be weird, you'd put your hand over your heart (where your liver is) and say 'The Statue of Liberty'"... Now, we all know she meant to say the "Pledge of Alligence" but Statue of Liberty was pretty hilarious. We laughed and laughed and laughed. Okay, so maybe I thought it was funnier than the rest, so I laughed until it hurt.
I do like when they are on a sugar rush... It's pretty crazy around here.
I do like when they are on a sugar rush... It's pretty crazy around here.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I'm Complaining About Work Again...
Last night was our first official day of being open. It was a "free day" for everyone in the city. Friday, and Saturday. Let me recap my night, and let me tell you, it was the night from heck.
First off, I was the head guard. That wasn't a problem. The problem is the pool itself. Who ever designed it, should be fired. Because it is AWFUL! Anyway, we had near capacity... 1033 people. If you can imagine that many people in one pool area. Should I spout of our totals? Sure... Why not? We had 11 water rescues. 9 lost children [looking for parents], 7 first aid situations (including front teeth knocked out), a drunk lady, and last but not least, threats on children's lives. Really?! Yes, it was pretty hectic, and I was running around with my head cut off. Trying to be extra eyes to help the guards, help with first aid situations, trying to figure out who is calling me (double whistles), and everything in between. My supervisor has set up our whistling system so that one whistle is to get a patrons attention, two is to get another guard or head guard's attention, and three when going in for a save.
I have a few problems with the three whistles. Why? Because it's confusing! When you have 20 guards on duty, all blowing whistles at people, it can sound like there is a triple whistle, and then I have to go find the source, and usually it's just three guards whistling right after another. Another reason, I feel like it takes too much time to whistle three times, and I find that it is very hard for me to do so. I can't think about whistling three times and trying to jump in to save someone. It's a hassle. And my last reason, I've been trained for a very long blast while going in for a save. When you go to jump in, you start your whistle blast and it should still be going when you hit the water. That way, you draw everyone's attention to you, as well as the head guard, because it's a lot easier for me to find you, instead of three individual blasts. BUT my supervisor believes the other way is better... UGH, so I guess I have to comply, but I don't like it.
SO, there was my night. Long, crazy, and I pray it will never be that busy again. Which, I know it won't, but I pray anyway.
First off, I was the head guard. That wasn't a problem. The problem is the pool itself. Who ever designed it, should be fired. Because it is AWFUL! Anyway, we had near capacity... 1033 people. If you can imagine that many people in one pool area. Should I spout of our totals? Sure... Why not? We had 11 water rescues. 9 lost children [looking for parents], 7 first aid situations (including front teeth knocked out), a drunk lady, and last but not least, threats on children's lives. Really?! Yes, it was pretty hectic, and I was running around with my head cut off. Trying to be extra eyes to help the guards, help with first aid situations, trying to figure out who is calling me (double whistles), and everything in between. My supervisor has set up our whistling system so that one whistle is to get a patrons attention, two is to get another guard or head guard's attention, and three when going in for a save.
I have a few problems with the three whistles. Why? Because it's confusing! When you have 20 guards on duty, all blowing whistles at people, it can sound like there is a triple whistle, and then I have to go find the source, and usually it's just three guards whistling right after another. Another reason, I feel like it takes too much time to whistle three times, and I find that it is very hard for me to do so. I can't think about whistling three times and trying to jump in to save someone. It's a hassle. And my last reason, I've been trained for a very long blast while going in for a save. When you go to jump in, you start your whistle blast and it should still be going when you hit the water. That way, you draw everyone's attention to you, as well as the head guard, because it's a lot easier for me to find you, instead of three individual blasts. BUT my supervisor believes the other way is better... UGH, so I guess I have to comply, but I don't like it.
SO, there was my night. Long, crazy, and I pray it will never be that busy again. Which, I know it won't, but I pray anyway.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
No Running!
So yesterday was my first day at work. I probably said the phrase "No Running" a million times... No, scratch that. A billion times. For some reason, a wet pool deck and running is a concept people just don't understand. As well as all the rules we have in place to keep people safe. It isn't because we want to be mean, it's because I really don't want to perform a spinal, and send someone to the hospital, where they get to pay all that money to either, never walk again, or be a miracle and walk. I guess people just don't make a connection. But as a lifeguard, that's what I think about... Again, that's what I'm trained to do, so I guess I'm trained to think of those situations as well. Some people are just dumb though.
Here we all are. The opening guards of the first time at the new pool. Don't we look so cute?
As to update you on my "health"... I am doing much better! I've made a journal, where I can write down all the feelings that trigger my eating habits. This way, I can go back and read other instances and learn what I did, and it might help in a different situation. I've had several instances that I've either been bored, angry, hurt, or sad... And I've combated it with something other than eating. I'm so proud of myself! I can feel the change, and I can feel the difference. As well, as my testimony in my Heavenly Father, my Savior, and answers to prayer, each have grown so much in such a little time. I know They are real. I know They love me, and They want me to be happy.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Yes, You Should Be Jealous
So... I think you should all be jealous. Last night, for Family Home Evening, we went ice skating on a lake. Yep, that's right. A lake. Frozen solid and very slippery. We had so much fun!!! I pretended like I was Frozone from The Incredibles, as I was skating along. It was awesome! Even though it was ... 2 degrees oustide, it was still fun. We had had three fires in barrels, so we didn't freeze to death, and everyone else had hot chocolate. I had on a very thick jacket, and my coat. I was as snug as a bug in a rug.
Yesterday was the first day of school.
"First day of school! First day of school! Wake up, wake up! C'mon first day of school!"
"I don't wanna go to school. Five for minutes."
"Not you, dad. ME!"
"Okay... huh?"
"Get up, get up! It's time for school! It's time for school! It's time for school! It's time for school! Oh boy! Oh boy!"
Name that movie. ANYWAY, school came and went, I feel like a veteren, just doing the same thing day in and day out. I know the flow, and I got this all figured out. I should after five semesters... and 12 years of school. Crazy how at this age, we've spent more time in school than we have out of school. And for some of us crazy people who have decided to become school teachers; much, much longer. What were we thinking!? Oh well. All in all, school was good, and it's going to be an interesting year. One that will definitely help me get over my fear of public speaking. Yipee?
Yesterday was the first day of school.
"First day of school! First day of school! Wake up, wake up! C'mon first day of school!"
"I don't wanna go to school. Five for minutes."
"Not you, dad. ME!"
"Okay... huh?"
"Get up, get up! It's time for school! It's time for school! It's time for school! It's time for school! Oh boy! Oh boy!"
Name that movie. ANYWAY, school came and went, I feel like a veteren, just doing the same thing day in and day out. I know the flow, and I got this all figured out. I should after five semesters... and 12 years of school. Crazy how at this age, we've spent more time in school than we have out of school. And for some of us crazy people who have decided to become school teachers; much, much longer. What were we thinking!? Oh well. All in all, school was good, and it's going to be an interesting year. One that will definitely help me get over my fear of public speaking. Yipee?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Praise to the Man
Tonight was a rather uneventful night, so I decided I was going to watch something from the Doctrine and Covenants DVD. On the 3rd video, it has Joseph Smith: The Prophet of the Restoration, Legacy, and a few other short videos. I decided I was going to watch the Joseph Smith movie.
Oh has my testimony been strengthened again! I cry when I feel the Spirit, and I was crying the whole time. My roommate probably thought I was weird. Oh well, she always thinks I'm weird, so there is nothing new there.
All I have to say is I know Joseph Smith was and is a prophet. He saw God the Father, and His son, Jesus Christ. He translated the Book of Mormon. He restored the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He lived great, and he died great. With his death, he sealed his testimony. What more could you ask for? Someone who is willing to die for what they believe in, because of the truth it contains. He gave his life as a testimony, which strengthens mine. Not only that, but I have felt the whisperings of the Spirit tell me, this is true. It is very true.
Oh has my testimony been strengthened again! I cry when I feel the Spirit, and I was crying the whole time. My roommate probably thought I was weird. Oh well, she always thinks I'm weird, so there is nothing new there.
All I have to say is I know Joseph Smith was and is a prophet. He saw God the Father, and His son, Jesus Christ. He translated the Book of Mormon. He restored the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He lived great, and he died great. With his death, he sealed his testimony. What more could you ask for? Someone who is willing to die for what they believe in, because of the truth it contains. He gave his life as a testimony, which strengthens mine. Not only that, but I have felt the whisperings of the Spirit tell me, this is true. It is very true.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Here's To CHANGE!
Here it is, the 3rd of January. Where did the time go? Yesterday was my half birthday... I am 20 1/2. Six months until I am 21, and heading off to a mission. Hopefully.
I don't know why I've decided to share this, but maybe it will make me feel more accountable, and I'll be able to accomplish my goal. And for some where, I just feel the need to share this with more than just my mother.
I have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. Those two little words scare me to death, but it's true. Ever wondered why someone keeps using drugs? Why someone can't control how much they drink? Well, I know. I know all about it. It's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy.
And don't you DARE tell me, it's just telling yourself to stop. There are a lot more psychologial things going on in an addict's head. They don't need you to tell them to "just stop". They already sit there wondering why in the world they can't just do those two little words. The bingeing, the aftermath of self-loathing and complete self-hatred. The moments of complete bliss followed by total and utter hatred. Bliss because for the moment, you are "happy". Nothing matters while you are eating. You feel comfort, happiness, pleasure, and any other positive emotion. Followed by "Why in the world did I just do that?" "I can't believe I just did that, I'm SO stupid." Followed by more and more negative comments towards yourself. It's one of the most self-degrating practices you can do, yet why do we do it? Eating until total discomfort, followed by self-hatred. Doesn't make sense, does it?
That is why I am here to tell you that I'm going to break that cycle. Here's to change! Change from who I once was, to who I was meant to be. "God has entrusted me with myself."... And I am going to hold that true. "Now is the time that we must choose between what is right, and what is easy". This isn't going to be easy. Easy would be to give up and be unhappy for the rest of my life. What is right... That is working hard to become someone better. Someone happy and optimistic. That is who I truly want to be.
I don't know why I've decided to share this, but maybe it will make me feel more accountable, and I'll be able to accomplish my goal. And for some where, I just feel the need to share this with more than just my mother.
I have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. Those two little words scare me to death, but it's true. Ever wondered why someone keeps using drugs? Why someone can't control how much they drink? Well, I know. I know all about it. It's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy.
And don't you DARE tell me, it's just telling yourself to stop. There are a lot more psychologial things going on in an addict's head. They don't need you to tell them to "just stop". They already sit there wondering why in the world they can't just do those two little words. The bingeing, the aftermath of self-loathing and complete self-hatred. The moments of complete bliss followed by total and utter hatred. Bliss because for the moment, you are "happy". Nothing matters while you are eating. You feel comfort, happiness, pleasure, and any other positive emotion. Followed by "Why in the world did I just do that?" "I can't believe I just did that, I'm SO stupid." Followed by more and more negative comments towards yourself. It's one of the most self-degrating practices you can do, yet why do we do it? Eating until total discomfort, followed by self-hatred. Doesn't make sense, does it?
That is why I am here to tell you that I'm going to break that cycle. Here's to change! Change from who I once was, to who I was meant to be. "God has entrusted me with myself."... And I am going to hold that true. "Now is the time that we must choose between what is right, and what is easy". This isn't going to be easy. Easy would be to give up and be unhappy for the rest of my life. What is right... That is working hard to become someone better. Someone happy and optimistic. That is who I truly want to be.
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